So, I am busy with studies these days and am actually quite satisfied with how life is moving on. Stopped expecting and planning things. Yesterday lying on my bed, gazing at the ceiling fan, I was actually thinking what next??? I have always heard and believed that we get what we want from the core of our heart. There is a dialogue from a very famous movie of Shah Rukh Khan: "Tum ko paane ki maine itni shiddat se chaahat ki hai, ki har zarre ne mujhe tum se milaane ki koshish ki hai" (I tried so hard to be with you, that the whole universe actually conspired to help me get you).. So, in short, it can be said that, if we really, actually want something, it actually materializes.
But now the thought seems a bit unrealistic. For me, Love has always been the first priority of my life. Though some people might not agree with this, but I've always waited for someone to love me and someone whome I could love without being in a fear of losing him. Several guys came and went and left some great moments to cherish or added bad experience to my life but nothing could actually materialise into a happy love stroy that ended well. Either I didn't like the (who approached me) or they were commitment phobic or they were just interested in physical intimacy. So, the end result; remained single for most of the time and craved for love. Now I think, is Love a mirage in desert which we see indesert but when we actually reach there, it's not there. My family is now looking forward to get me married as soon as possible. Though I also want to get marriead and settle down but sometimes, the idea of an arranged marriage suffocates me. How can I shackle myself with a person just after a formal meeting and that too without being in love. Would it not be difficult to spend rest of my life with such a person, in case I never fall in love with him.
Though I keep myself busy in studies, but this idea sometimes haunts me. I even see nightmares related to marriage that I got married to the son of some Sarpanch (head of the village). Lol. But I don't have any other option as I could not find even a single courageous man who could take stand for me. I don't know what lies ahead, but just hope that I get married to a person whom I like at least (if not love). Amen!
P.S. : I am not disturbed. But I had to take it out anyways. And yeah, Happy weekend to all :)
Weather in Delhi is awesome these days..I clicked some pics.. You might not be able to see the rain in the pics, but I found the scene beautiful and clicked some. As I could not find the data cable so, will post the pics in my next post.
Till then take care,
Love,
Ann
