So, Here comes the next news: Yesterday was my Farewell Party at my old office. It had been a great experience working with the organization. I still remember the day I had joined my previous organization. I was so timid, less confident and careless about my work. Used to chat on phone for half an hour without caring for my Boss. But really, he had been a great support for us always. I will always remember him a a role model. Learnt a lot from him.
Nowadays, I am not able to cope up with stress. or may be the lifestyle (late nights shifts, increased targets) is affecting me. I don't know the exact reason, but I've realized I can't take stress anymore from anyone including myself. When something goes out of my hands, I just leave it on God or the time. But still sometimes, my mind becomes clogged with so many thoughts, that I outburst on anybody or anytime. This is something, I need to control. I need to control my anger. Though, I hardly mess with anyone, but sometimes my friends or family become target of my anger. I know they care for me, but that doesn't mean I can take them for granted. I am working on it. May be I'll be able to handle it. Here are some tips, I found on web. If someone is in the same situation, read it. It may help you... Love, Ann
Had been away from my blog for a long time. Though I have had enough these days, but nothing interesting to write on.
Another pleasant morning with new hope and positive energy. The moment I got up from my bed, first thought that popped into my mind was: O.M.G, I'm late, rushed get ready. I could not even grab a sandwich or cup of tea, my cab people called me up : "Maaa'm ! your cab is waiting for you". Within 10 minutes I boarded the cab. Meanwhile the vendor called me up twice to inquire whether I have boarded the cab or not? Disgusting, and then started the fight. He blamed me for late boarding and I blamed him for informing me late. In short, I was so pissed off after that whole conversation (As you all know, I hate fighting or arguing with people :), and really try to avoid such situations). But sometimes, you can't control other people's frame of mind and the way behave.
T.G.I.F - Thank God It's Friday. The week had been too tiring especially yesterday evening. Finally it rained heavily in Delhi (NCR) last evening. Everybody was so happy to feel the rain after such a long time of unbearable hot weather. But the problem started when we left the office. Streets were clogged with water and jammed with vehicles. As most of the working shifts get over by 6 p.m. everybody was rushing back home and it took us around 3 hours to reach the home and left us exhausted. I had my dinner and jumped into the bed as there was no energy left to do anything else. Then Alarm rang at 6:15 am. First I felt like what the hell is this? I 'm not going to Office. But, as we all know Corporate Bitches can't be lazy all the time. I got up, got ready for the office and boarded the cab.
Sitting Alone in my office department on my seat, I am feeling soooo scared deep down inside. Not Scared of any ghost or Lizard (My phobia), but I am scared of the loneliness. As nobody has arrived yet, I am alone in the department, doing my work. But negative thoughts are constantly clouding my mind, all the insecurities shrinking my heart and making me feel so helpless. To avoid that negative thing, I tried to distract my thoughts to something else, read some blogs, wrote some content, did some usual reporting stuff but all in vain. That feeling of loneliness is there. And one thing I must admit I am Scared of it.
So, this is not like a regular Monday. Today I was feeling great while coming to the office. The weekend had been really boring and hectic. As My mother is not at home, I had to take care of all the household work and Cooking part. And believe me, it's really tough to be a house wife. All the time I was wandering about what to prepare for Breakfast. As soon as the breakfast was over, I use to think about the Lunch and then dinner. OMG... Though it was not that bad, but temperature in Delhi is soo hot that it was really tough to be in Kitchen all the time.
It's been 3-4 days, since I am struggling hard to fight with fever, bad throat and severe cold. But now the situation is getting out of control, it's hard to manage and work. I could easily take an off, but I think I have become so used to work, that I feel bored at home relaxing alone. So, I opted to come and work. But as it's hard now, I really need to take some rest. T.G.I.F. (Thank God It's Friday), finally the day has come. Now I can relax at home and catch a good movie on my new Lappy (Laptop) with my Bro and Mom :) Not feeling like working, feeling exhausted as all my energy level has gone down.. Looking forward to a relaxing WEEKEND. Till then, Happy Weekend Guys.
Some grudges and wounds leave their marks forever. No matter, how many years pass, somewhere down the line we all still feel hurt for some or the other loss. Today I was just discussing things with one of my friends. And yeah, we are sailing on the same boat I suppose. Not able to come out of our respective pasts.
I am feeling very happy today. You must be wondering why? Actually my best friend came to see me in my office. I know it's not a big deal as compared to what he has done for me in past 7-8 years. Tolerated my impatient behavior, supported through my thick and thins, always motivated me to do better and achieve whatever I wanted to and much more which I can't explain on this Blog. He came here just to see me as our work schedules don't allow us to meet otherwise. Though I was telling him not to come as we can not meet our friends in office for more than 10-15 minutes. But he took all the pain to come and see me. And now I am feeling that these small efforts and things really matter a lot to make the bond more stronger. Feeling too good about it. At least a small change in my daily routine filled me with all the positive energy. And I am happy that I am blessed with so many wonderful people.
As they say Women love Make up and Shopping when they are depressed. This is true for me. Yesterday, I was feeling not so Good, went home, slept, woke up and listened to some of my favorite songs. Another hectic Day was ahead of me. So, to make it more interesting and refreshing, I decided to put my new dress, which I bought last weekend (that shopping was also done to cheer me up). So, finally I put the dress, put some make up and left for the Office. And see what, I was already feeling Gooood. Alps and Samy gave me nice complements. We clicked some picture and believe me Samy is a great photographer. So, we clicked some pics. People were giving nice complements and all this filled me with loads of positive energy and here I am now, happy, relaxed and working positively. So, Ladies, believe me it works!!! Do some changes, and feel good about it. After all, it's all about the inner contentment :)
So, I stayed up till 2:30 a.m last night just to find out How these Guys (Ryan, Hari and Alok) managed to get their degree. Loved reading the novel: "Five Point Someone". Honestly, while reading the book, I missed my hostel days (which I always do anyways). Still thinking about my dream Boy "Ryan". Yup! after reading the complete Novel, I still love him, despite the fact that he was the lowest performer in his batch. So what? grades don't make you a better person in any manner. See Love is Blind. LOL. Yeah I am missing those characters, especially RYAN. Hope he exists somewhere, and if he reads this, please do let me know Buddy !!! As I am waiting for you :)
“Guzari hui zindagi ko yaad na kar , taqdeer me jo likha hai tu uski fariyad na kar. Jo hoga wo hokar rahega, tu fikar me uski apni hansi barbaad na kar.”
So, after so many days of fighting with technology, I am here to bitch about it. Really, this weekend my "personal computer" left me exhausted and frustrated. I spent my complete two days on that machine (which I could have used better by watching a good romantic movie) just to access my personal mails. Sometimes, I really feel pity for us: "the corporate sluts" who have become soooo addicted to the world wide web that we can't remain away from it for long. Anyways, as we are not allowed to access our personal mails and other social networking website at our workplace, we are dependent on our pc's or the internet cafes for them. Sometimes I really crave to chat with my old friends on Orkut.
As we grow up we learn to speak, to behave properly and other stuff. Though our parents and siblings play an important role in shaping our attitude, friends also leave you with some great experiences and lessons. This reminds me of my very good friend. Yup! You guessed it right that’s my Ex. He always used to say that he always listens to his heart and advised me the same thing. But I never understood his point that time (may be I was too young to understand that). Anyways, breaking off with him made me mature in few days only. Pain inside me compelled me to do self analysis that why did I failed to judge the person. Though everything was clear and right in front of my eyes, but may be I was not ready and willing to see that. And after few days of recovering from my so called precious relationship, I realized that my heart was warning me all the time, but I was the one who was ignoring it just to chase the temporary contentment.
So... Finally I have time to write the post. With growing tensions of falling economy, people are working hard to save their Ass and so am I. After all, we can't put our bread and butter on stake. Anyways, one thing is really bothering me for past few days. Why people don't mind their own business. I mean we all love bitching and gossiping about something or the other and yes I admit that like every other girl I love bitching too. But I can't do it for 24*7.
Weather is so lovely outside. Today I was not feeling like coming to work (this is not a new thing, I hardly feel like coming to work LOL:). So, on my way to office, looking outside the Cab's window I was feeling like get down there and then only and start walking and enjoy the weather (but could not do so). A rush of emotions in my heart is telling me to do lots of things. Like I want to ride a Scooty and go on my own to wherever I want, catch a good movie, eat something spicy, dance in Rain or just go for a stroll with my Mom. Sooooo ... Excited O.M.G. I think the Weekend Fever has started showing its Symptoms. And with this want to spread my Wings long and wide as possible as I can.
One of my friend is sad these days because of her recent break up. So, I was just thinking why do we need guys? Can't we enjoy life on our own? Yes, we can. I know how it feels to be in a relationship, and then come out of it. A lot of pain and memories are involved. But we can keep ourselves happy by looking at the brighter side of the Singlehood. Like I have some points which can make you feel good if you are one of those singles who have broken off with their partners or still have not found their dream mate:
Why do we have to live up to other's expectations? Like if my folks wants me to be a doctor, but I want to be a dancer, artist or singer then why do I need to study hard. Every person knows their weak and strong areas. Then why we are not allowed to live our life our own way. If I am happy and contented in working in that normal 8 hour shift and life is going smooth with that so called small package, then why do I participate in the rat race where people are exploiting each other and playing games to snatch other's position. Sorry !!! but I can never be like others. I am happy the way I am. In fact, I want to live my life happily then why do I run after other's dreams? After all I have got only one life to live and don't I have the right to live it my way?
